In My Life

The one thing We dislike

2008-02-12T18:49:00.000-06:00

I've just finished a one on one with my sister; its one of the few times we share such sentiments. I'm comforted to know that despite she is a busy woman and hardly ever talks much when she is at home, she is supportive. During our conversation, we shared similar thoughts about my parents but I'm saddened that they weren't positive. In viewing them, listening to them, basically living under their roof and following their guidances, I've noticed that they have somewhat of a negative attitude towards difficult times, challenges, change mostly. My sister shares the same thoughts, sigh. I only wish they were more hopeful, positive and tell us we could conquer the world, instead of reminding us of the difficulties and showing disapproval. Its a attitude that they can easily relay unto us but its not the way I want to face decisions, its not a way I want to live and its not something I want to pass unto my kids either. Its their job to warn us and not want us to face difficult times but if it doesn't turn out the way they wanted, show a little love wont u?

More Life than Excitement

2008-02-11T20:55:00.001-06:00

Some of us find ourselves day after day living a routine of classes and assignments, while other find themselves living a 8-5 working day week. Its not the first time I've heard this question, and I too have thought about it before, "where is the excitement?" For some, the days are filled with boredom, living only because our heart keeps pumping.

I've carried the feeling before but only consumed in stress, having no energy to think of anything that mattered less. I'm relieved that I've left such horrid feelings behind and also glad to have noticed what really does matter from what doesn't, mere objects, opinions, looks, pitiful thoughts, senseless thoughts... it doesn't change a thing and it definitely doesn't make it any better.

But I've learned too, that only excitement will not do. The crazy fun does nothing for me, and would fall into the routine category or worse. I say this is where all of us need to make meaning out of our lives, figure out what is important, what is fun for us, what makes butterflies flutter in out stomach, what really drives our excitement, and makes our pulse race and start from there.

rrrr

2007-12-28T15:40:00.001-06:00

Do you believe in horoscopes? I don’t really give it any attention but the when something negative appears, it is much easier to seep into thought.

“You have much to suffer in life”, not good; I can’t get it out of my mind, especially when I’m going through a rock time, like now.

No details, but here you have it

2007-12-27T15:38:00.000-06:00

Surrounded by the warmth and feel of home and also by the loved ones; I’ve strayed away from this distraction that fills the lonely nights during the semester at home; no need for chats or surfing or blogging really. I have everything and everyone I need right here. Xmas break has rolled into two weeks now. So far I’ve had a good time and sometimes a not so good time.

I’ve spent the running hours with family, sharing the joys and sorrows of these days. Apart from being xmas holidays, my family is reminded by moments such as my grandfathers death, my dad’s accident (its one year now), and now it will also be shadowed by my aunt’s baby passing away days before birth.

We have all not been in a xmas, cheery mood but nonetheless, we hosted family over, went to visit the grandparents, went to family reunion/dinner, shared gifts, and also giving visits to my aunt who requires much support and love from us. I’ve also been spending a lot of time with Leo; these reunion moments have been great, we still have two weeks more to go.

Nops, no job here.

Cleaning Up

2007-12-18T00:32:00.000-06:00

In the process of creating yet another playlist, I noticed how long my music library is and I also noticed the great number of the songs I’m not listening to lately. I’m not in the habit of disposing of songs, unless its one of those one hit singles which sounds great for a month, and I’m sure I’ll never listen to again. I’m still listening to the Brits: Keane, The Feeling, Oasis, Muse, Radiohead,Travis, Shiny Toy Guns, Travis… the Chics: Dido, K.T. Tunstall, Regina Spektor… Others: Tegan & Sara, The Fray, Spoon… and a vast collection of Trance that never bores anyone.

To make scrolling less lengthy and also to create a better atmosphere within my library, I’ve been deleting songs from my library, not from the hard drive. I’m just not in the heartbreak, lost love, keep missing anyone, sad, bang your head, rock on, kind of mood. Some have been passed filtering and remain in library but the much mellower/rock artists have gone into hiding: Death Cab For Cutie, Augustana, HIM, Hinder, My Chemical Romance, Bright Eyes, Dashboard Confessional, Snow Patrol, Evanescence, Linkin Park, Interpol, Placebo, The Postal Service… and a few other singles.

Some of these I did listen to a lot about a year ago, but since then, a lot has happened, and I no longer need the comfort of such music/lyrics. Songs are like people’s moods, contagious. I don’t wish my cheery, I love you, good times rolling mood be infected by such Depression. On a whole, we should keep away from them; maybe I should reconsider getting rid of them on a whole. For now I’ll just keep them in hiding, bearer of memories.

Listening To:

Dido – Here With Me/White Flag/Don’t Leave Home
Chicago – If You Leave Me Now
Cat Stevens – Wild World
The Fray – She is/Fall Away
John Lennon – Jealous Guy/Love
Take That – Patience/Back for Good

Just Say No

2007-12-17T18:35:00.000-06:00

Exams ended last week Friday. Yay. If a teacher assigns a take home test due after the end of exams, Decline. A few days ago, the thought of having my Calculus III take home test, due today, felt relieving; it was good to take something of the list of so much. But, I guess you can never really escape; I’m now feeling the stresses of doing this test. Take home tests are always thought to be harder than in class tests, this one definitely fits the criteria. I started a while ago and I’ve managed to complete two problems, 5 remaining. Did I mention this is due today, by email? Yeah, its 6:26; sorry, I’m no where near finishing and looking ahead, I don’t see myself finishing it and I’m no way near worried. If he wouldn’t mind us not handing it in, I would take the zero. He is dropping the lowest grade but taking a zero isn’t acceptable. I’m even bothered by myself thinking this way; but I guess I’m just in that mood; I’m stumped. Is it because it’s the end of the semester? Or is something wrong? My brain processes are really slow or do these problems require too much of an ingenious solution. Hey, I’m no Math major.

A Day in the Life: Episode 47

2007-12-10T21:15:00.000-06:00

Wow, its been two weeks which I've neglected my blogging duties. I have been incredibly busy in the last two weeks of classes and for the most part, I'm down to the last two days. Also, I've been caught up in life and caught up with thoughts hovering over my head which are totally not academically related. I admit it has been good not to think of an additional task on the list but it also means I've deprived myself of a great stress reliever.

Presently, its 9:20 p.m. I'm on a break from reading. It probably it wasn't a good idea to cram 6 chapters (of never before seen material, Communications Class) into one half day, but its not impossible. Tomorrow I sit my exam @ 2 p.m. Taking breaks here and there for the essentials, peach smoothie, cheese & crackers, I've been reading and counting down: 2 chapters remaining, but I'm tired. This is another break; letting the content of 4 chapters soak in before I cram it too much and forget it all.

I feel like going to sleep, but I still have 2 chapters of reading, 9 chapters to review and a calculus III take home test to work on before my exam tomorrow. Determination!

Calculus III Exam @ 8a.m. Wednesday, December 12

Tracyness

2007-11-29T01:57:00.000-06:00

Lately Ive been feeling not like myself. As Dupree (You, Me, and Dupree) would say, where has my "Tracyness" gone? Its still there dishing the smiles, keeping a good relationship with family and friends, but are Tracy & Tracy getting along? I've been doing some thinking on the matter, and I'm not quite decided on my thoughts; I'm getting there though, warmth and inspiration is needed.

Have you ever watched a movie that has a left your jaws hanging? You can totally relate to the plot or to the character? Or somehow, it helped you find another part of yourself that you didn't know was there. Those are one of the best moments. For some time now, I haven't been watching much movies, and none of these amazing flicks have popped up by accident. Confession, I'm a sucker for the comedy/drama/romance type of movies; most of the time I will be the only one to totally adore the movie( much like the taste of music I have, lol) and others will find it a complete bore. But hey, I love them, that's all that matters. I'm thinking; I need one of these heart pouring, self discovery, life journey flicks right about now. I need my heart lifted; I need some inspiration.

Three of my favourite movies are based on life journeys. I've experienced a couple short ones, but I expect much more, with more gravity, to come my way.

In Garden State & Elizabethtown, the lead character has began the journey in search of himself at the death of a parent. Thoughts of life rush to our minds at such an impact. I'm thinking; we shouldn't need death as a cause to start living. Life is so short, and everyday we are given the proof that it can end at any second. There are moments I've gone through rush of emotions, all through my body(all good); "I'm glad I experience this, this is living" and at the same time I feel empathy for people who die without living.

Abandon all reason, go with your heart. (Garden State)
Reason is of the brain, it doesn't always know what the heart desires. If you love, you shouldn't have to think twice about it.
Let Go , Jump In, There is a beauty in every Breakdown. (Frou Frou, Garden State Soundtrack)
Let go to life, let go to love; Let go and take a chance. If it happens to end badly, let go to the breakdown, shed the tears and find yourself once again.
The purpose of Life (Elizabethtown)
The purpose of life is Happiness, to love and to be loved, we're only human.

Everything is Illuminated is just a must see, it enlightens the soul; its a simple movie, with a mystery plot from present to past and its layered with emotions.

These have nurtured the thoughts of the night.

But, I think its time for another movie to be added to my collection. Ive had no luck with them in search of me, so is it time for me to search for them? Well, Lars & the Real Girl has caught my attention; its the only movie I'm really interested in watching. I hope I get the chance to; make my day?

Listening To
Travis - Love Will Come Through, & Sing

A Day in the Life: Episode 45

2007-11-27T22:12:00.001-06:00

2 Weeks More
Next week Friday, I sit my first final exam; yes, its already the end of this semester. I know I should be all worried and studying my ass off for these exams, but I'm just not in the mood. I think the flu has put a drag on me; I'm easily tired, as I am now. Yet, I am trying to be consistent on writing up my paper, and for once patiently awaiting my final program. I know once I receive it, its work non stop from there on, and maybe that's a good thing, it will get me back on my toes(where I need to be). On the last two weeks remaining of classes, don't we always think, how do we get pass this? Surprisingly without a scratch we do; so that should be comfort enough to know that yes we can do it.

Little Girl
So I'm thinking my parents need a well deserved break. My mom at times even cooks for me when just 5 minutes before she says she isn't cooking for anyone. I surely don't have puppy dog eyes, as someone I know; but hey I'm her little girl. Although sometimes I hope she wouldn't see me in that light. Major thanks to my peeps; they are still there for me. This week I was in a bind, and one text to Dad, "Call me, its important" and my phone has been ringing off the hook, texts and calls from him and momma; they really are there when you need them, and with the responses, "Its no problem." Its a great responsibility to look after your children; I would like them to spend more time on their selves though.

Pressure
Maybe its not the best time to ponder on these, but then again, thoughts like these always creep up on u. I feel the pressure; whats next, after school? I know my parents expect a lot from me, they have always have. Their words tell that they expect much more of me than any of my brothers and sisters. My sister is currently working on her masters in Management; so where does that leave me?

Listening To
Radiohead - All I Need
James Blunt - Same Mistake
Dido - Here With Me
Frou Frou - Let Go

Wishlist

2007-11-22T21:29:00.000-06:00

Has anyone started their xmas shopping? Well I haven't; I need some bright ideas actually to come up with great Christmas gift. Any suggestions for gifts for a guy?
So far, only a couple of items on my list, recommended by Freeze, as something a girl cant do without. Ah, the joy it brings... well its just something to get us in the kitchen. Lol.
1. Cookbook
2. Mixer
~~3. Hair Dryer~~

Oooh Oooh, Not for kitchen use:
4. Surround sound computer speakers (Freeze you don't use yours, you wouldn't have to go shopping, lol)
5. Camera

Lemme stop. Right now, I'm just really looking forward to the break, time spent with family and friends, and lots a food. Not looking forward to putting up the tree and the lights though; I'll leave the task to my sis since she didn't bathe the dog, haha.

Wishlist anyone?

No More Sitting Duckie

2007-11-21T13:22:00.000-06:00

I finished my Database Homework, and MY COMPUTER IS FIXED!!! YAY! I can now turn it all around and throw it up in the air.
Yay, again, for new hinges.

Danny, Leo, no replacements here, not yet atleast, haha.

The End

2007-11-17T14:46:00.000-06:00

At the very beginning I was almost annoyed that I have to take CMCN209 – Communication Skills. Dear me, another English class, which are on the most bottom of the list of classes I don’t enjoy. Even so, it’s a requirement so I signed up for it, any other way I wouldn’t be in that class. What I don’t like the most about English is the whole bulk of writing you have to do, I was just always better at numbers, Mathematics(I still am), than expressing myself verbally. Yeah yeah, I'm blogging…and I hate writing, but this writing for pleasure deal isn’t one bit bad, I enjoy it. I started off in some teacher’s class, sorry I can’t recall her name, and after the first day I switched sections into Ms. Paulino’s 5:30 class. I distinctly remember being warned about switching sections, “Ms. Paulino’s class requires a lot of work, this section is much easier to pass.” For my own reasons, I kept with Ms. Paulino’s despite of being warned; at least I had the company of Derek and Martin.

This was one English class that didn’t follow the routines of previous English classes I’ve taken. Sometimes she just rambles on and on, and I wondered if those words were ever relevant to the class’ objective. We were not subject to the whole lot of writing, but we did have to read a lot (Book of 15 chapters); I’ve only read 9 chapters, other must be completed in about a month’s time. Now that I look back at it, this class has taught us how to me more open and objective to other people and more open minded; the class discussions, presentations (esp. me and Martin’s, Intercultural Communication presentation), forums and ramblings paid off after all. On Thursday, I mentioned to Martin, how I think that our class was more fun and we learnt much more than anyone in the other section. Ms. Paulino has her ways, "Nothing, in this life is personal." I was even thinking I should take on classes not included in my curriculum, just for fun. Mr. Marco Olsen, the provost of the university and a lecturer (law courses); he is an attention grabbing person and quite entertaining; I’m sure his classes would be the same. I could here the comments already, “Such a nerd…” it’s not like I have time to do so anyway. When will the time come that we take classes just for fun?

I’m working on my final paper for Communication class now and in a month’s time we bid adieu to Ms Paulino and our communication class.

Saturdays

2007-11-11T18:54:00.000-06:00

At the beginning of every week we are almost always greeted, with a “Hi, how was your weekend.” And we simply answer, “It was good”. Maybe its takes too much energy to go into the weekend details, if person was not involved. So, this is it, my reply to you all…

During the week, I am nothing but a student, involved in the ever demanding heaps of schoolwork; I’m always writing a paper, solving problems, reading chapters, writing programs, preparing for presentations or tests etc. (that’s all I do)
Weekends it’s almost like I live in a different world; the people, the location, the events, tasks, even the feelings are on such a different level. I can’t say that they are more adventurous than the weekly routines; but weekends are stress relieving, relaxing and fun. On Saturdays especially, I take on many roles; I’m “housewife” (no, I’m not married), a programmer, and a lover.

My mom had been at home for about 9 months; she quit her job to stay home and take care of my dad after his accident but now he is recovered and should be fully walking and back at work full time in 2 weeks time. Its three months now that my mom has gone back to being a “working mom” which leaves me home alone with a house, my dad (when he is not away), messy and noisy teenage boys (and their friends) and the “housewife” duties to attend to: the dirty dishes, laundry , turned over covers, dusty shelves, hungry fellows, and dusty floors . These are past on usually to the next woman in line, but my sister is practically moved out, so when she comes home every two weekends, she is not responsible for any work of the sort. Like all Saturdays, I am not pressured to wake up early in the morning, but I am expected to get to work as I open my eyes, practically.

This weekend it was almost routine, I woke up hurriedly started laundry, did the dishes, and started preparing grilled chicken burgers for 12 pm, when my mom arrives for her 1 hr lunch break. I ate lunch with her, engaged in a little conversation, and 1pm she goes back to work and I resume my Saturday duties. I wanted to bake a rum cake, but I decided not to, after hearing how my mom is afraid of running out of butane, since the suppliers are on strike. (Baking takes up a lot of butane, she says). I prepared a cheesecake instead (prepare in minutes & refrigerate); I want to learn how to prepare cheesecake from scratch, has anyone got a recipe?

A recommendation while working, put on your favorite playlist. I could hear all over the house, my ipod playlist, 4 hrs long; a compilation of artists such as: Iron & Wine, Band of Horses, Radiohead, Oasis, Stars, The Stone Roses, Tegan & Sara, Café Tacuba, The Cure, Ingrid Michaelson… Suddenly disturbed by my lil brother’s loud music, its irritating hearing Collie Buddz’s “finally, the herbs come around…” After 10 minutes of convincing him, I got rid of him.

Then after, I finished washing the dirty dishes accumulated from lunch and not baking; I dust around the house, swept and mopped the floor. I’m now tired, and my doggie needs bathing; he’ll have to wait until Sunday afternoon for his bath; but I’ll take mine now. After putting a toll on my body, I decided to put in some homework time, since I know for sure I wouldn’t in the night. It’s now after 3pm; I worked on my programming assignment due the following Tuesday. I guess a little physical work is just what I needed to start up the brain; it paid off as I easily worked on a major part of my program in approx. 3 hrs.

At 6pm I’m preparing supper once again, for my family and the significant other. I sure hope they enjoy the fry tacos, some made from chicken and others from cheese (especially for the non-chicken lover, Leo). By the way, my sis keeps teasing me about me cooking for him... and my little brother wishes his gf would do the same for him. After I'm finished rolling the tacos, I attend to the girl in me and do my hair. The rest of the night, as most Saturdays , I spend time with the special one... having dinner, tightening the bond, going on walks, maybe catch a flick, enjoy some tunes... whatever we feel like doing. The night is often much longer than the daily events, and its a treat after a hard days work. Going to sleep in the wee hours of Sunday morning; Saturday night was great.

Gosh, I still have to bathe the dog tomorrow.

All Is Full of Love

2007-11-06T23:06:00.000-06:00

I've been reading chapters 5, 6, & 7 for a communication test I have tomorrow at 5:30. I'm not quite done yet; I'll finish up tomorrow. Suddenly feeling lightweight, at peace, warm, loving, all positive/beautiful feelings, you name it, I'm feeling it now... I just want to hop in bed, enjoy the cold air, warm sheets, have some thoughts, and fall asleep.
All is well in my world; sorry I cant say the same for the world itself.

Also, Derek is recovered and back at school. Now life in Belmopan should be back to normal. Oh, but he needs to a shave first. hehe

I had thought that this week would be one of the worst; Monday starting off extremely rocky. It was a hard hit, and waking up today... you can say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. (I always wake up on that side, maybe I should move the position of the bed, hmm, would that help?)
Times like the ones I went through, its nice to have someone listen to you, even if you are stressing on and on... Oooooh, how great you are! I'm feeling so much better now; my day had a complete turnaround. I'm Back on track!

*Spontaneous 10 min phone call made my night.

Tonight, when asked how am I, my response was "Better than Better".
Reply: "Sounds like you're in love"

Listening now to Radiohead's new album, In Rainbows. Its amazing, as expected. Its just right for the mood; I'll fall asleep listening.
btw: every song of the album(the entire album) made it on last.fm's Weekly Top Tracks.

Goodnight Bloggers, Goodnight World!

Life Happened

2007-10-31T23:34:00.000-06:00

Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans
- John Lennon

I've never been one to complain about not having any work to do; fun-time or better say, free time is always welcome. I know I get overwhelmed with them when I have a never ending list of To Do's but this wk I was bothered by not having any school work. I was battling myself, and really it was mad at the fact that I had no escape. I had no work to bury myself and neglect everything that's happening around me. After all the attempts of not thinking, even sleep! My thoughts totally consumed me to be point that I annoyed myself.

Tracy faces the firing squad!

Really, now I think that the reason I was avoiding these inner thoughts is because I already knew the result; I just wasn't ready to let go. I've reached a point in my life, where I must bid goodbye to a part of the child in me. Its transition time, and moving on with adulthood. We need to let go of certain things so that we may grow, blossom and attain the life we want. All in all, its all about happiness. This is me striving for it.

Two Winds

2007-10-25T01:36:00.000-06:00

Lately, the weather has been just the way I like it, windy, cool and at nights it gets really chilly. The days in Belmopan are hot, but somehow I've managed to trap the cool air in my room, every night sleeping with all windows open. I would always want it to be this way.
Walking at nights in the small "city" of Belmopan, into the fresh air, the wind blowing against your skin; shaking to the chills is a feeling I haven't felt in a while. And now the sudden change of weather takes me back to when I was in Monterrey, Mx. Its all I can think of and the different feelings of wind...

... lonely walks in the darkness, with the wind as your only company... somehow I never felt lonely walking alone,then it was comfort.
...Sleeping alone in the cold, its the same every night, lonely and the piercing cold deepens the sadness...

Not here, though... the wind lifts you and lightens stress of the day. After you've reached your destination, I just want to stay outside and enjoy the night, wind, and the feeling... it makes me miss the life of the city, Monterrey. Every morning, it was a new feeling, looking out my window and seeing a huge mountain foot; you cant even look all the way to the top, its covered in fog. Looking around midday, and all that you can see is the buildings and the huge mountains that surround the city, in all directions. Or looking up at the mountain at night, and barely seeing anything, but you know its there. I remember I mostly stared at the mountain in darkness when I was missing being at home, or missing people from here. And now I find myself missing this mountain.

Cerro De La Silla, Monterrey, Mexico

The coldest night there, was the night of the U2 concert, which was sold out two months even before I got there. Fans still gathered by ITESM, dressed in thick jackets and gloves; listening to the live music, shouts, screams, and looking at the concert on huge screen. That was a moment; it would have been better to have a certain someone there (I remember having that thought), to hold our hand in this cold, and enjoy the connection you made with the music, and share the love. The last song they played was "Stuck in A Moment." "With or Without You" was also a fav of mine.

I definitely want to go back there, to visit or maybe stay a little longer. Maybe I should send my kids there to school, and I can always visit.

Leo, I sent you a couple of postcards while I was there. Do you still have them?

A Greater Power

2007-10-22T23:58:00.000-06:00

How easy it was not to love Him,not to think of Him,
not to be sad about not seeing him, hearing his voice and laughter, missing the smiles, the lengthiest good nights, ...
not looking at "The Face" (No matter how much I say it makes me feel awkward... Gosh, I love that face)
... he wasn't around and You were.
And then it was over and there He was again. A situation I thought I wouldn't have to face again. I thought those feelings were DEAD; I was wrong. I find out now, that they were always there, just not fed, because he wasn't around. Is that my mistake? ...Saying I wouldn't do this and I wouldn't do that... Me... I know, I wouldn't have. Back then, I was certain because I didn't think of Him; how would I have known this to happen?

**There is that one person that you really can't forget.

With Him, its like there was never a gap in time... the kisses, hugs, thoughts, talks,... feels like we've been sharing them everyday for the time we've known each other... yesterday, the days before, the week before, the weeks before, the month before, the months before, the year before, the years before...
How could a person say no to this? How can two people neglect this intense connection that lies between them? It was inevitable.

The guilt are eating at my insides... It was never my intention to hurt you, to do the things I did. Now I'm sure that I should have thought of you, and then me. In the beginning I did, but how easily I forgot. There is no turning time, and living with it, I must let go of this guilt. It bothers me so, because I know it the reason you are no longer speaking to me, it is the reason I don't exist anymore in your life, it is the reason even the memories of me have been scrapped from your thoughts. Its not the way I wanted it to end; I know we meant and had a great effect on each other...

For Him, I must also forget... I made my choice...
And now I will lie in his arms, sharing thoughts only we both know, enjoying the warmth of his body and the feel of his hands, and I will think only of him and me, and the moment being shared... moments like these cannot be captured but lived, and the memories stored in the song playing in the background. Our Eyes shut...we're trying so bad not to fall asleep; not wanting to miss the other.

I saw you as the bad person for the things you didn't do... and You saw me as the bad person for the things I did. But my reason for doing was result of what you didn't do. So who really is to blame? I accept my faults, but I also blame you and your shield.

I'm mad at everyone that mentions You... Is it because I know I'll never speak to you again?

Right About Now

2007-10-21T23:49:00.000-06:00

Right About Now, I want to meet you
Right About Now, I want to share with you everything that's bothering me.

Sometimes it is easier to share with someone you don't know, every thought that is racing your mind, every thought that makes your heart ache, every thought that you fear saying out loud... somehow it was easier to share with them, than with someone you are very close to.
Why is that? Are you that afraid to let your confidant know that their "super person" is falling apart? Maybe so. But I'm Falling, nonetheless, with you knowing or not knowing.

After I meet you and you get to know me... will I share with you again?

Calm Me

2007-10-19T10:15:00.001-06:00

Whats good for calming the nerves???

Weekend in Belmopan?!?

2007-10-19T00:14:00.000-06:00

SHOCKER!!! :o

Lately, most of us, have been neglecting our "blogging duties" ... Myself and other friends have been caught up in heaps and heaps of work, whether it be for school, jobs, or just personal duties.
It seems endless, this being the 4th BUSY week, keeping count, only to add a 5th with next week, and maybe a 6th ++... all the weeks up until Dec 25th, when school is over!

Barely enough time to work, and now no time to think but anything else but work... how fun huh!? Its feeling a little meaningless, but its also fulfilling to get the work done, and enhance our knowledge.

From the beginning of the semester I've been going on and on, up and down... on how my Calculus III teacher always skips class, barely ever teaches, always sends in-class assignments and quizzes (on some material he never covered and never set for research). At one point, I even considered dropping the class. In my opinion I wasn't learning much, I was deprived.
His movements had become so routine; I could even forecast the events of the upcoming class. This week he has decided to teach an "entire semester's work in a day" -Freeze. After two months into the class, and so many guesses of when would the first test would be given, he has finally set a date: Oct 25, 2007 @ 3:30 p.m. Good thing?
Well I'm sure glad he is teaching now, but test next week???

I already have so much due... Database Assignment, Monday, Datastructures Test, Tuesday, Calculus III Assignment, Tuesday, Intercultural Communication Presentation, Wednesday, Resume and Cover Letter for Communications, Wednesday, Datastructures Program Set (Simulate a Web Browser in C++ using stack, lists, queues, and file processing), Thursday,... and now Calculus III Test, Thursday... and to think that the school week ends on Thursday... no more... I have to Communications Questions to do that night, after class.

Working in Belmopan this weekend; not by choice, lol. I would much rather be at home in OW, but hey, this work has to be done... unless u guys wanna help out... take your pick... Don't fight now, there is enough for everyone.

Goodnight All...

What Have We Done?

2007-10-12T11:34:00.000-06:00

For A while now, I've been thinking of the damages that we have caused on this earth for the sake of our survival...
And now Anderson Cooper, along with Jeff Corwin and Dr. Sanjay Gupta, is unveiling to the world, the extent that we humans have gone in destroying our planet, Earth.

A CNN Worldwide Investigation:

PLANET IN PERIL
Premier's on CNN, Tuesday, October 23, & Wednesday October 24
[A DEFINITE MUST SEE!]

Until The Day Is Done - R.E.M
The song, synced to clips from Planet in Peril, premiered on Oct 10.

Actively involved in bringing environmental awareness worldwide...

Disturbed?

2007-10-08T12:33:00.001-06:00

I want to scream out loud that the sound breaks the dense, long, pitiful silence that you have created, that it breaks this fragile glass surrounding me, that the pressure explodes the very lungs that keep me alive.

I want to get away, so far away, where I don’t hear your voice, your cries or know the very existence of you and the thoughts that are killing you inside, which somehow I feel have buried me alive.

These selfish thoughts transform into guilt, guilt and more guilt. I am not allowed to have these thoughts; but they are slowly becoming stronger and stronger. You keep feeding them, STOP!!! AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhH!

Breathe!

Who is She?

2007-10-08T12:09:00.000-06:00

She is my mom, she is me, she is you.

Need me? Need You?

2007-10-07T15:46:00.000-06:00

I know sometimes I can go on and on about things that aren't the way I want them to be, or about making things exactly the way I want them to be. In the moment, we get mad, sad, annoyed, frustrated, disappointment, and feel a whole bunch of mixed emotions towards people who have done something not to our liking. Sometimes I even think about disconnecting them from our lives entirely.
At times, I tend to focus on where they went wrong, or where they didn't go right.

Be Objective!
Don't stray away from them because of their imperfections. Keep them because of the need they supply, keep them because of the way they make you feel, keep them because they make you a better person.

Busy Busy Busy

2007-10-03T11:47:00.000-06:00

Testing Freeze's Theory about this chair.

Once again, I find myself caught up in endless work; I had thought last week was the busiest week I would ever have but I find this one to be much more overwhelming. Apart from C++ Programming language, I've resulted to relaying messages in one words.
Essentials being: Food, Water, Class, Sleep.
No Fun, No Time to Think about anything else but conditions, loops, nodes, pointers, ... Don't loose that location of that node! Argh!!!
The only breaks I've really taken(apart from this time and other time I've taken out to grumble about it all) are to go to eat, bathe(a must), sleep a couple of hours and go to class (but I might skip one today, too much work!)

Those of you who have had to bear with me, Thanks, and sorry for being stressful.

My working week ends on Thursday, at 1:00 p.m.
Looking forward to a stress relieving weekend and more time for the fun stuff.

Also, Listen to Take That, Klaxons, Kaiser Chiefs, Bjork, Goldfrapp, Doves...LA LA LA... more. OooooOh, and Office - Oh My, heart that song. (Located On Sidebar)

Break

2007-09-26T22:41:00.000-06:00

So far, I have had a very hectic week. I actually had to write a list of things to do, and stick it on the wall so I wouldn't forget the "must do's" of this week. You know its not a good week when you include on the list, "Have a talk with ...". So far I'm down to 8 tasks accomplished, 2 pending which are suppose to be completed by tomorrow, or at least I wanted one of them completed by tomorrow. Datastructures...hmm. Ok, BREAK TIME! I'm incredibly tired, headaches are becoming consistent, and I think I need sleep; but u know how it goes when you're terribly exhausted, its difficult to fall asleep.

Quiz yourself on the Law of Attraction

How Good Are You At Attracting Positives Into Your Life?

Based on my quiz answers:

"You've likely had some luck at attracting positives into your life, but nothing that has probably WOWed you. You may have even thought you got "lucky" for some unknown reason. Time to get the Law of Attraction tools into play. If you want, you could get really good at attracting your desires. What are you waiting for... ? Believe you can do it already."

Not what I expected, but I guess words like HOPE, do make a difference...

Post of Interest: Staying Motivated Day by Day

Rising early and looking at the positive side of everything... some good pointers. I do feel better when I get up at 6 a.m, it does lighten up your day. But lately it has had to be 8, since I'm going to bed much later.

Ah, relaxing break... Gnite!

Shattered Glass

2007-09-25T01:18:00.000-06:00

What do you when, what you wanted in life, and never expect you would have gotten( not even in the wildest dreams), has been handed to you on a glass platter?

You have a hold of it now, carry it so nervously. "I mustn't let it fall". There is great fear is letting it fall. Any little slip or trip, can make it shatter to pieces. But the greatest fear is being cut when it shatters on the floor surrounding your bare feet, the walk of pain and drain of blood.

My Independence Day

2007-09-24T20:58:00.000-06:00

Watching the parade with the chicks, and kids.

Rosalva & Tracy

Trying not to get tanned. Didn't really work... I so want this tan to go away.

Tracy & Yalily

Aura Garcia

Props to Aura; she travelled all night from Merida, Mx. to make it for this parade. I think she has more patriotism than a lot of us, born Mexican, brought up in Belize.

Gut Feelings

2007-09-20T16:58:00.000-06:00

I should have skipped class and gone home.
Ah, I always have to be so stubborn as to not listen to my gut feelings. Do you ever listen?
So my class was canceled, and walking out, it started raining cats, dogs and setbacks.

Yah, its 5 pm and Im still here in Belmopan. So much for going home huh.

Episode 25: A Day in the Life...

2007-09-17T21:11:00.000-06:00

Its dreadful, tears, my stomach has just been gripped and ripped into pieces. I'm crying unbearably; every object, every word spoken, reminds me of him, tells me he is no longer. I'm falling out of my mother's arm at the thought of my dead brother. Is this real? Think, something is not right, what is out of place, what is not in place. So I'm dreaming, yes I'm dreaming; I should have known I was dreaming. Recurring.

What do you make of dreams?
Someway to start off the day, to wake up with almost tears in your eyes. So, is this a reminder to appreciate life and those around you? Thanks.

So moving on, going to school. Very interesting bus ride. I love my mind; I found out that I can give myself a natural high(highly recommended). All is you need is some great techno/trance tunes, mind blowing memories and an eardrum that's up for the pumping.

At Belmopan now. Such a different moment in time. Sometimes we're just so caught up in ourselves, until it hits us... there are people around.
Found out that one of my friends,Derek, has been in a car accident. Seeing him, wow, emotional, totally unexpected. Breathe. I feel so bad for him. This is all so sad, seeing him in pain and even more, seeing him down, seeing him sad. Praying for his recovery.

Everything bad happens for a reason? - does this one bad thing have a reason? -why should a person suffer? I can't think of a reason.

Second reminder? Didn't I Hear the first; maybe I didn't pay attention. Please no more reminders; I got it the second time.

A day in the life... Sure hope the week brightens up.

# 1

2007-09-13T01:31:00.001-06:00

We always strive to be #1 in a race, in school, in our love lives especially. We always want to be the one who makes him love, the one he will always remember, never forget, the one who changes his life, the one who makes his life better. But she holds the crown, and will forever. He will always love her, and no matter how much we try and be there for him, laugh with him, no matter how much we love, we will never replace her. She holds his heart. This is such a chick post; I know.

I'm someone's #1.

Talked Out

2007-09-12T19:56:00.000-06:00

So last week, I didn't really blog...

I was incredibly tired and I guess "Talked Out". It was one of those weeks friends come to you, not only for laughs, going out for coffee, hanging out... but for real deep heartfelt conversations. All of us have our concerns, headaches, heartaches... and even though blogging helps, talking it out is much better. It had been a while that I hadn't shared those with friends. We get so busy at times; hardly enough time to sit down and listen. But that is what friends need, that we sit and listen until the early hours of the morning. In the end its a relief, to share disappointments, fears, and even tears, knowing that others feel almost the same way. We, humans, we all hurt the same.

Their concerns:
What should I do? Do I give him another chance? Am I happy with my life? What is it that I want in life? When will I ever achieve what I want in life?

The questions are never ending, and so are the possible answers which we have thought out, but which do we choose?
I am almost always "the listener", and I was in the beginning. After, we switched roles, and they listened, tried to understand, and share their thoughts. We can learn so much from others, if only we are open to them.
A lot of us are so short tempered or impatient, eventhough we know its always best to practice patience. The topic of "Patience" came up but in a broader aspect. Sometimes we do get exasperated when thinking how we want our lives to be. It was a reminder to us that we must be patient with ourselves, the people around us, and also the time it takes us to get where we want to be.

I'm glad I was Talked Out.

Woe of Last Week

2007-09-11T11:02:00.000-06:00

Well, my laptop was injured, one of the hinges that holds up the screen isn't functioning well, and also the plastic nut that holds the screw broke . My guess is that someone dropped it, and didn't inform me of it; I was infuriated at the thought of it. I rather not find out who did it; it would just make me more mad. My warranty was up since March, so much for warranties and making Dell solve the problem, which would be so much easier but living without a computer for sometime wouldn't be fun. And also, GS com would charge me $25 "for consultation" and $75 for every hour of "surgery". Mein, that sucks.
So, I got these tiny screws, and now finally the courage to open up my own laptop, which I didn't want to do in the beginning but, lets open this guy up. It wasn't difficult because Derek and I opened it up. I mostly watched though, but still, no problem solved. We found out what the problem is, at least. Again, this weekend, at home, I tried to repair the lappy with the help of my dad, but no go; all I got out of it was frustration, and a computer less weekend, and well I guess, knowledge definitely. Its really no biggie. In keeps getting worse and worse; to get it right, I need to order some new hinges, and a new bezel, but all online suppliers don't accept Belizean credit cards. It will be some time before I get this stuff, and repair the lil guy. Still like him, but I want another computer(not a Dell).

Comment

2007-09-06T00:42:00.000-06:00

To everyone that had read the post prior to this one...

As you notice, I took it off. I wasn't planning on answering any questions or giving comments on it, because it was a really personal blog, but I do have one now...

The reason I took it off: No Appreciation!

Leap of Faith

2007-09-04T17:07:00.000-06:00

Humans... we are always influenced by our emotions, some more than others. Its not so good when its the negative ones that are influencing us though, when we are so longing to stay positive. I never thought of you as the person, who made it a big deal if I should forget your special day; I guess I was wrong. Yet again you never cease to surprise me. If I had thought about it, I mean really thought about it, I wouldn't have forgotten and maybe I wouldn't have screwed up. For some reason I keep screwing up, but why? Not even I could answer that. And as for abandoning you, It was so unintentional. I could honestly say, that I was caught up in myself. There were moments in summer, that I just wanted to be alone. Maybe it was selfish; I don't regret I did, because it was necessary for me, but I am Sorry. Sorry for disappointing you. And all this, you giving me a hard time, pushing me away... it gets to me, and sometimes I do feel like saying "screw it all", but I cant do it.

"If you don't give up, you haven't failed". There's a thought.

Selective Artists' Playlist

2007-08-30T01:12:00.000-06:00

This weeks playlist features 4 of my all time favorite artists:
(I do admit, A couple of them might be on the mellow side; but, I do love 'em, thats the kinda chick I am.)

The Feeling: [ @MySpaceMusic ]
Fill My Little World
Stranger
Kettle's On
Rose
Same Old Stuff

Band of Horses:
The Funeral
The Great Salt Lake
Swords
The End is Near

Tegan And Sara: [ @MyspaceMusic ]
I Know I know
Back in your Head
Walking with a Ghost

Iron And Wine: [@MyspaceMusic ]
Naked As We Came
Sunset Soon Forgotten
Such Great Heights

Listem to them on My Playlist Radio (Sidebar)!

The Beauty of Sadness

2007-08-29T18:18:00.000-06:00

The Tears of an Angel

There is a beauty in sadness, like no other. Looking at her from across the room, tears filling my eyes, she smiles. She knows not what makes me ache, but the pain, she's felt before. Looking at me, she remembers heartaching moments, and an upsurge of pain suddenly engulfs her. My sadness is not shared intentionally, but is accepted easily. There is a Beauty that lies within; she is a stranger to me.

No Sleep For Me

2007-08-29T00:26:00.000-06:00

So, its the third consecutive night, that I am not getting any sleep. Oh no, has my Insomniac nights begun? I have never been able to figure out the cause of them. I eat right, workout, exercise my mind: reading, calc III hwks, blogging, datastructures, watched anime, attend classes, normal days lately. And even when I fall asleep, I only do so for about 5 hrs. I lay in bed, tossing and turning; my brain not wanting to hibernate, sometimes the thoughts feel incontrollable. Thinking, thinking, thinking, people, past events, "what am i forgetting", still thinking about that calc problem I left unsolved. Will it ever end? I've been like this since highschool, yet its not something I can adapt to, it becomes frustrating and it also puts a toll on your body. Im so waiting for the one night I get some good sleep, which should be after 3 or 4 sleepless ones.

Cease to Begin

2007-08-28T20:43:00.000-06:00

Band of Horses, Band of Horses, Band of Horses ...

They awed us with the release of their album Everything All The Time, with tracks such as The Funeral, Great Salt Lake, Our Swords (three of my personal favs)... And now, they have posted a sneak peak on their space @ MySpace Music~Band Of Horses
"Is There A Ghost?" is posted for download temporarily, and also for all time listening. Its so good to hear a familiar voice, AhhhH!

Their new album "Cease to Begin" is dated to be released on Oct 9. Goodie!

Track List:
01 Is There a Ghost
02 Ode to LRC
03 No One's Gonna Love You
04 Detlef Schrempf
05 The General Specific
06 Lamb on the Lam (in the city)
07 Islands on the Coast
08 Marry Song
09 Cigarettes, Wedding Bands
10 Window Blues

on YouTube: The Funeral & Great Salt Lake

Crossing Over

2007-08-24T15:40:00.000-06:00

I can cross rivers; next, it will be mountains!

(I have a fear of heights)

Hanging Bridge over the Belize River.

Selected for YOU!

2007-08-23T02:37:00.000-06:00

Yeah, YOU ;)
I especially enjoyed creating this playlist and listening as well.

Featuring:

"I Want You Now" ~The Feeling, "Supermassive Black Hole" ~Muse, "Rock & Roll Queen" ~The Subways, "Waterfall" ~The Stone Roses, "Shoot the Runner" ~Kasabian, "Woohoo!, Alright-Yeah...Uh huh" ~ The Rapture, "Shuffle Your Feet" ~Black Rebel Motorcylce Club.

So I'm slowly developing a guilty pleasure towards tracks from Rihanna's ablum "Good Girl Gone Bad" ..."Umbrella", ft. Jay-Z, "Dont Stop The Music", "Shut Up & Drive". I highly recommend the acoustic releases of Umbrella by Mandy Moore & another by Marie Digby.

Chick singers... I never give them enough credit, my views are evolving... Lily Allen, Sarah Mclachlan, Feist, and now Aimee Mann; I especially like this song featured in many soundtracks, as many others of hers, "Today's The Day".

Mp3s:
"Crystal Ball" ~Keane
"Le Disko" ~ Shiny Toy Guns
"My Moon My Man" ~ Feist

***Some tracks, especially recent releases, aren't available as yet, on last.fm; so unfortunately, cant be listed on the radio playlist.

Happy Listening!

Questions???

2007-08-20T18:45:00.000-06:00

The normal introduction to a new group of peers is usually: name, origin, program, and something you consider important about you. Hmm, important? Short, yet complex; there are so many replies and the usual ones such as: family, morals, respect, culture, dedication, artistic, goal oriented… Aha! So this years communications class goes straight to the question which we have made so much moments thinking about. Who are we?? Who do we want to be???

Its like we haven't spent so much time thinking and thinking about it already, we need a reminder of it at the beginning of every year; August is the month, yeap! Hmm, reminders are good though, they keep us on our toes. We are always in search of ourselves, I know I am and I know my friends are, others I pity, are at a loss. This is where it gets depressing... sitting in class, listening to some of the responses, that were made up in 5 mins elapse. I guess reminders are not so effective, and are only kept in mind until the moment you stand up and talk about yourself for 58 seconds, and are immediately forgotten; some people definitely waste this life, of which we only have one to live.

Some responses were incredibly discouraging, that even I, didn't feel like share my thoughts on life. Now that I think of it, I should have been more honest with the group; some people need an eyeopener. I'm just not comfortable with crowds. Oh Gosh! maybe I have a communication issue. The purpose of this class, was totally defeated during this session. I definitely need to be more open, on a whole; I hope this class proves to be effective in the end. I've only started, got a few months to go, there is still hope!

I definitely thought the first session would be encouraging. At the beginning of this blog, it was taking a more positive route, but I cant deny disappointments. If it was discouraging, my bad!

Blogger's Playlist 16/08/07

2007-08-16T14:02:00.000-06:00

A combo of emotional attachments, cool rythms, mellow favs, britpop & indie.

For further tunes & video clips, Visit their sites and their profiles on MySpaceMusic:

1. Kruezberg - Bloc Party

2. Bones - Editors [ @MySpace]

3. 1234 - Feist [ @MySpace ]

4. Waitin' for a Superman - The Flaming Lips [ @MySpace ]

5. Try Again - Keane [ @MySpace ]

6. Believe Me Natalie - The Killers [ @MySpace ]

7. LDN - Lily Allen [ @MySpace ]

8. Sing for Absolution - Muse [ @MySpace ]

9. A Call to Apathy - The Shins [ @MySpace ]

10. You Are The One - Shiny Toy Guns [ @MySpace ]

Makes the day all, so much better!

So Long Sweet Summer

2007-08-10T15:35:00.000-06:00

We always find ourselves stumbling into summer, finalizing exams, end of semester projects, packing up, going home... and think, now what do I do for the months of summer, which at that moment seem like endless days. Now, summer is falling away from us, we must say our goodbyes to what are now counted days.

With no strings attached, and as happy as I am, I say "Hasta Luego... can you hurry it up a bit." Lol. I'm almost drowned by the exasperated feeling of being in a corner of this routine life; some summer jobs aren't dream jobs, but hey they are effective and my conscience would be eating my insides if I didn't take on a job, and give the family a lil break.

----------------------------------------------

No bratts allowed this summer; All of us kids took on summer jobs. I'm proud of my little brothers, I will definitely give them more credit of "growing up" by taking on such responsibility.

-----------------------------------------------

Summer did have its moments such as: 1. Release of Harry Potter 5th movie & 7th book. 2. Offset of Blogging. 3. Catching up on further reading(more obsessively, reading everything I lay my hands on) 4. Bonding with Family & Friends 5. Moving On & Growing Up(I can't help but smile at some of the moments, and at the lessons learnt from them)

But now, I'm so longing to be engaged into the student's life. Call me a nerd if u will, but I'm craving the classroom atmosphere and the loads of homeworks and class projects. More importantly, I want to dedicate free time to being active in the Computer Club; we have an interesting project coming up, to put our skills at work and also to enhance the clubs involvement in the community. I'm looking into two other extra curricular activities, in due time, I'll share my ramblings; I just hope I'm not disappointed by limited resources.

With my heart content I say:

au revior, auf wiedersehen, ciao, bye, adios...

Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors - Editors

2007-08-04T11:25:00.001-06:00

A Great start! Its the first realease of their new album AN END HAS A START.

Let Not Fear Lead

2007-08-02T10:47:00.001-06:00

"Why are you scared to dream of God When it's salvation that you want?"

We are the leaders of our own lives but there is always another lil guy lurking around, looking to take over. FEAR is always on the job, leaching the passion out of our very soul. Fears of : Disappointment, Loss, Failure, Emotional Pain & Heartbreak, even physical pain... sometimes forbids us from having the lives we want for ourselves. We must take the bull of our lives by the horns; It may be weighty but its worth the drag.

"You don't let yourself fall, when you must, to know love."

A Very Inspirational Song by Muse

2007-08-02T10:45:00.001-06:00

Invincible

The Seventh & Final

2007-07-28T10:33:00.000-06:00

After much preparation and anticipation, reading books 1 to 6 at the beginning of summer, I finally got hold of "Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Year 7, Hogwarts, by J.K. Rowling. Reading one book every year, you can say that I, as many others, grew up with the characters and went along with them on their quest of defeating the dark lord.

Personally I enjoyed the book, it was a great birthday treat. It was well written; its amazing how J.K. Rowling can write a book that is enjoyed by both children and adults. Books 5 & 6 give a real good insight into the connection between Harry & Voldemort, and also into Voldemort's life which makes the seventh book a little predictable. In the seventh, I especially liked how we find out that Dumbledore was right to trust Snape all along. I was moved how his love for Lily Potter kept him faithful to the Dumbledore and the Good Side. Harry is more matured and accepts his faith that he must die in order to put an end to the dark lord. My eyes almost filled with tears, when he was walking, covered by his invisibility cloak, amongst his army of supporters, to the Forbidden Forest, which he knew was to his death; and he preferred the comfort of the lost spirits, his mom, dad, Lupin, and Sirius instead of facing the people he was now leaving behind.

Of course it ended as a "Happily Ever After..." tale, which I wasn't too fond off; Harry dies but comes back to life when the portion of Voldemort's soul is removed from within him. An Epilogue is added, nineteen years after, Harry is married to Ginny, Ron to Hermione and both couples are at the train station, sending their kids off to Hogwarts. I imagine J.K Rowling didn't have the heart to let Harry die; instead, being the final book of Harry Potter, she leaves us with a happy ending, giving us the comfort that he is well(Good prevails always!). The ending that I had developed prior to reading the book was that both Harry and Voldemort die in battle, still overcoming the darkness of the lord.

THE BOY WHO LIVED

Another Year Gone By

2007-07-21T09:45:00.000-06:00

My birthday is creeping up on me; I'll soon be one year older. I don't mind really because I've gained a lot of life experiences, and fun ones as well; but I certainly don't like the age+1, part of birthdays.
About this time last summer, my entire life, as I had imagined it, had taken a 360. You loose people, you change your life goals... but hey, what more can you do but "Embrace it all". If you are patient enough, the silver lining does appear behind the dark cloud.
We are always in search of ourselves and also for people who enhance our lives.
So in August 06, I late registered into the IT program at UB, Belmopan; It was a change from Physics and Math, but hey, the Math pays off in the end. Interested, I caught on quickly in my classes, and performed very well the first semester and even better the second. I had a lot of free time for myself(now make it a part of my day, to invest at least 2 hrs on Me).
There are a lot of people out there, and getting to know them is always fun; I made some great friends. Some are completely different from me, a few similar in certain ways and one which could be "one of the seven people out there similar to me"; we shared quiet times, laughs, study sessions, road trips, swims, music, great stories, goofy moments... and even sad times. I am saddened that two of them wont be returning to school in Aug, but im sure thats not the last im seeing of them.

All in all, it turned into good year; now lets see what a new year and age has in store for me... Ahh! Soak it In!

Disappointments

2007-07-16T22:30:00.000-06:00

Do people disappoint us? Or Do we disappoint ourselves, by being hopeful and investing too much effort in them? Either way, +1 to the list of disappointments in my life. My father has always told me that in life, the number of Disppointments become greater and greater; and everytime I face one, I remember his words.

Eventhough it makes me sad, today I let you go. I brought it upon myself... It doesn't matter if you disappointed me or I disappointed myself; In the end I was DISAPPOINTED!

This too shall pass.

An End Has A Start

2007-07-14T10:45:00.000-06:00

I was first introduced to Editors by a friend i met on ilike, they are a great indie rock band from Birmingham, England. Awesome music and vocals. Now I introduce them to you...

Upcoming, July 17, 2007 is Editors' new album...anxiously and enthusiastically awaited.

Listen at: Editors - An End Has A Start
Track Listing:

1. Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors

2. An End Has A Start

3. The Weight Of The World

4. Bones [Mp3]

5. When Anger Shows

6. The Racing Rats

7. Push Your Head Towards The Air

8. Escape The Nest

9. Spiders

10. Well Worn hand

...Enjoy, I surely did.

The Music We Listen To...

2007-07-13T23:50:00.000-06:00

I'm beginning to watch tv less and less and I could actually count the hours that I do, to 2 years a wk. The only way it may surpass that is if a really good movie, that is a must to watch, is on. Our source of music on cable is very limited to MTV, VH1, HTV, mun2, the country music channel, which I don't know how it is called and maybe a few others. Various types of genres aren't available to us; sadly, more and more these music channels are being populated by Rap, Hip Hop and Reggaeton artists. No offense to these genres, but its not my kind of music... I mean where are the indie, emo, psychedelic, electronic, post punk, britpop... Rock!
The channels available to us, highly influenced the music interests of the Belizean population; thus, making the greater percentage of the population like only that type of music, and see the music which is not readily available to them as inferior, and as pile of crap. Open your eyes guys, you are being deprived of greater things.

There are a couple of rock artists featured, but its only because they are hitting the billboards. It seriously lacks what i consider "Good Music" and the "Not so Famous Bands". Lately I'm listening to Indie bands, The Beatles, The Strokes, Movie Soundtracks, even the classics, Mozart, Zamfir and Vivaldi. I crave good vocals, music, lyrics... I look for meaning within a song, I want to feel the music, and know that the music feels me. Music loves, understands and comforts.

Lyrics of a favourite song, from a now becoming favourite artist:

I Summon You by Spoon [Mp3] [ @MySpaceMusic ]

Remember the weight of the world
It’s a sound that we used to buy
On cassette and 45
And now this little girl
She says will we make it at all
800 miles is a drive

Yeah you got the weight of the world coming down like a mother’s eye
And all that you can
All that you can give is a cold goodbye
The law enforcement’s impressed you’ve survived to this age
Strapped-up soldiers
They’ll lock you in a cage without a goodbye
For a nickel bribe
But aww no where are you tonight
And how’d we get here
It’s too late to break it off
I need a release
The signal’s a cough
But that don’t get me off
I summon you to appear my love
Got the weight of the world
I summon you here my love

Remember the weight of the world
It’s a sound that we used to buy
And all that you can
All that you can give is a cold goodbye
The law enforcement’s impressed you’ve survived to this age
Strapped-up soldiers
They’ll lock you in a cage without a goodbye
For a nickel bribe
But aww no where are you tonight
And how’d we get hereIt’s too late to break it off
I need a release
The signal’s a cough
But that don’t get me off
I summon you to appear my love
Got the weight of the world
I summon you here my love
The signal’s a cough but that don’t get me off
I summon you here my love

PHEWWW!!! THERE IS THE INTERNET, source of the greater music!

Sunday Afternoon

2007-06-24T19:17:00.000-06:00

Lately, I’ve been bothered by every little thing that goes wrong, which would normally have no effect on me whatsoever. I took the day for myself, reaching out for comfort. I was sitting outside in the lawn, in my cushioned rocking chair. The day was a little gloomy, but the wind was blowing coolly in my direction. I sat there, listening to my “Mellow” playlist on my iPod, staring into space but mostly looking for answers, that only I could find. I could see blurs of different shades of green amongst a great blur of blue gray. It was all so soothing, feeling the breeze caress my skin; I was at peace with myself. Yet sadness, found its way back into my head, I was missing a particular someone. The calming afternoon comforted me; I fell asleep.